T’was a Big Week for Space – Part 2


In part 1 of  “Space, The Statist’s Final Frontier”, I shared how ETs are going to save our economy…or at least how Paul Krugman thinks they could.

In part two, we have two University of Pennsylvania profs and a guy from NASA who have written a paper about the likely scenarios if ETs decided to invade our little piece of the universe.  The title of the paper is, Would Contact with Extraterrestrials Benefit or Harm Humanity? A Scenario Analysis.

The link is provided, but before you invest your time reading all 33 pages of it, let me boil it down for you.

  1. It will be more entertaining to just wait until Haloween and watch the Twilight Zone marathon on the Sci-Fi Channel  (Yes friends, I refuse to acknowledge their dumb-ass marketing ploy of renaming it the SyFy Channel.  It’s just stupid.)   The fact is, EVERY scenario these egg-heads cover is already documented by Rod Serling.  The only difference being, Rod knew he was creating entertainment not academic material.
  2. The conclusion of the paper starts with this sentence, “The outcome of contact between humanity and ETI depends on many factors that cannot be fully known at this time.”  In other words, “If you just spent an hour reading all 33 pages of our Star-Trek rip-off, jokes on you, SUCKA!”  However, the real suckers are those that paid Spicoli and company to sit around packing kush in a hubbly-bubbly while starring up at the stars and wondering aloud, “Dude, what if Klingons landed, like tomorrow morning.  Whad-a-ya think would happen man?”
  3. But my fellow taxpayer it actually goes from stupid to “give me a freakin’ break” a paragraph later, when, after consuming 3 bags of Doritos and a  Man-vs-Food sized pizza, our space pioneers declare…

ETI may observe humanity’s ecological destructive tendencies and wipe humanity out in order to preserve the Earth system as a whole. These scenarios give us reason to limit our growth and reduce our impact on global ecosystems. It would be particularly important for us to limit our emissions of greenhouse gases, since atmospheric composition can be observed from other planets. We acknowledge that the pursuit of emissions reductions and other ecological projects may have much stronger justifications than those that derive from ETI encounter, but that does not render ETI encounter scenarios insignificant or irrelevant.

So.  I have been sucked into an Eco-Nazi propaganda campaign disguised as Bill & Ted’s “what I did on my excellent summer vacation” essay.

It’s not hard to understand why eco-alarmists would resort to this level of ridiculousness.  The Church of the Blessed Anti-Carbon, having had the support of their doctrine exposed as doctored scripture with Climate-Gate in 2009 has got to find another way to instill fear in the populace.  Why not use an alien displeasure with our CO2 production as the way we scare people back to 1723?  Yeah…that’s the ticket.

It does verify something I’ve always believed.  Al Gore is from another planet.  “I’m Al-Cretin of Gorg. Resistance is… Bull Sh**t!  You will be assimilated…into my carbon trading ponzi scheme.”

In Part 3…a vegan Mars.

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About Larry Downes

Son, brother, husband, father, boss, mentor & friend. Believer in unfettered personal liberty. Occasional host on 93.1 WIBC in Indianapolis.

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