Rule: Never Vote for a Guy in a Rug


The standoff between the Republicans and Democrats in Indiana reminded me of:

Voting Rule #129:  Never, ever vote for a guy that wears a toupee.

Pat Bauer

Seriously Mr. Bauer. We can tell.

When 37 Indiana Democrats left the state for Illinois (new motto:  the Democrat Refugee State), they took with them their fearful leader, Pat Bauer.  This resulted in a two-week onslaught of video and photographs of Mr. Bauer on television and on-line which leads me to voting rule #129.

Mr. Bauer gets up each morning, stumbles into the bathroom, looks in the mirror and sees his chubby bald noggin.  Rather than accept that banal reality, he grabs what looks like muskrat roadkill and slaps it on his skull. “Ahhh, that’s better.”  This means one of two things: 1) He’s hiding from reality himself or 2) he believes he’s fooling the rest of us.  Either way he’s not fit to get my vote.

If a man, or woman cannot accept the reality of getting older, losing their hair or gaining a few wrinkles, how can we believe in their ability to accept more serious realities? Serious realities like out of control government spending, a teetering economy or runaway joblessness.  If you can’t see much less accept reality staring at you from the mirror and want to spend your time wishing, pretending...hoping, then you certainly can’t use reason to identify solutions to the problems we face.

Therefore,  I officially declare members of the Toupee Society disqualified from holding office. By the way, Voting Rule #129 also includes members of the Comb Over Class.  Sorry Mr. Trump.

Trump Comb Over

Rule #129 also means The Donald is ineligible to run for POTUS

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About Larry Downes

Son, brother, husband, father, boss, mentor & friend. Believer in unfettered personal liberty. Occasional host on 93.1 WIBC in Indianapolis.

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